


Tutouring Therapist

by Wanted__Fun



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Coming Out, F/F, Fluffy Angst, Homophobic shitheads are shits, Human AU, Idk how to pacing or character consistency, Internalized Homophobia on peri's side, Jasper's a bitch but she lost her gf so fuck off but also do you need a hug, Kinda, Multi, Nerd Peri can't tell whether she hates lapis or is head over heels, Oh shit I'm gay, Peri doesn't know how to not anxiety, Peri needs a hug, Self-Harm, The Diamond family is a moderately rich mess, Yellow D isn't a huge asshole, fuck lapis' parents, lapis doesn't know how to not depression, lapis needs a couch and not for me to write all of this like shit, whoops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 12:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13811310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanted__Fun/pseuds/Wanted__Fun
Summary: Lapis always looked like a nialistic college student, but for the past few months, her grades slipped and her eyes had been drained of all light. Peridot could swear she had gotten skinnier, her arms still toned but scrawny and shoulders bony. Bags hung under her eyes, and Peridot treasured the few smiles she would give, even if they were clearly fake. She didn't know why those dead-eyed grins would always make her heart race, especially considering Lapis probably didn't like her much---she knew Jasper hated her, and Lapis clung to her like a shackle most of the time. She swore she once saw Jasper trying to drown her once hours after school had ended when most of the students were gone.Whatever had happened, whatever tension was between them, Ms. Yella apparently couldn't see it, and 'convinced' Peridot to tutuor Lapis. Alone, after school in the math class they shared. Goddamnit.





	Tutouring Therapist

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted to my account on Fanfiction.net but it was just to hold over until I got this account invitation. Italics is being a bitch so I'll fix that in a bit

“ _God_ , can’t you pay attention for once in your life?” Peridot rubbed her temples, leaning back against the teacher’s desk.

    “When you give me something worthwhile to do, yeah. Sure.”

    “This _is_ worthwhile! This homework isn’t even difficult, _Lazuli_!” Except for C-13, that one had even taken Peridot a little while.

    “Still as boring as your sex life,” she grinned, kicking back in her chair with her feet crossed on top of the desk. Damn dirty sneakers and ripped jeans; she’d have to get some clorox wipes. Peridot groaned, ready to slam her head into a wall. Lapis twirled her short hair between her fingers, dark eyes unfocused as she mumbled something about renewing the deep blue dye. “I don’t even need this―I ace all of the tests.”

    “That―that doesn’t,” the blonde gestured wildly at Lapis, “ _That’s not how this works_!”

    “Chill, Dot―”

    “My _name_ is _Peridot_.”

    “ _Fine_ . Okay, _Peri_ dot. How _does_ this work?”

    She couldn’t tell if the taller girl was actually asking―sitting there with a blank expression and relaxed posture that made her black Nirvana tank top bunch up at her navel―and _ooohh too much_ ; the collar of the top showed far too much of her tanned skin for Peridot’s approval.

“Well,” _oh so graceful, tutor_ , “F-first, I want to, uh. Uh, see you try to complete one of the problems.”

“Any request, your highness?” _Just do the damn homework, Lazuli_.   

“C-13.”

Peridot’s phone buzzed―just a text from Pearl asking how she was handling. _Ready to rip my hair out_.

“Done.”

What. Oh, wow, _that was quick_.

“I’ll just check it then.” She pushed her glasses higher up the bridge of her nose. She turned the notebook to face her after taking a step to stand in front of Lapis’ desk, reading the equations and comparing them to the steps and answers she had mesmerized. It was right, written in surprisingly neat cursive, although she seemed to use a lot of mental math―little problems jotted down and random numbers that didn’t really fit in with the rest of the work. It almost looked like art, with some meaning behind it―a story. But her solution was there, a short paragraph full of numbers, circled, and completely correct.

“This. I―you―you solved it. In less than a few minutes. Like, seriously, these kind of word problems are like trying to analyze nineteenth century writing!”

Lapis shrugged, “Maybe that’s why I’m good at it. I can’t do the others worth shit, but these kinda remind me of short stories and stuff.”

“I guess. The only classes you have A’s in are ELA and your art elective.”

“Don’t forget PE. These muscles gotta come from somewhere.” She flexed, pretending to kiss toned biceps like a B-movie jock.

“Yes, you are on the swim team after all. But that still won’t make it easy to get into an acceptable college if you have C’s and D’s in four classes.”  

“Who said anything about college,” Lapis murmured, crossing her arms and tilting the chair dangerously far. Her eyes hardened, shifting to avoid Peridot, “It’s not like I’m even gonna make it ‘till then.”

Peridot swallowed hard, lips drawn into a tight line. _How the hell is someone supposed to react to that?_

Lapis fidgeted with her fingerless gloves, and Peridot noticed for the first time that they covered her entire forearms―black and torn at her elbows and knuckles. Her breathing was shallow, and she rocked back and forth in the chair slightly, gaze never leaving her shoes.

The blonde cleared her throat, running a hand through her short and choppy locks, “Um, well. Let’s―let’s just go over the rest of the homework.”

Lapis nodded slowly, sitting up―like a normal human being―and reclaiming her notebook. They went over a few more problems, with Peridot explaining how to find the solutions with a bit more enthusiasm than probably necessary. Lapis just hummed along, otherwise silent and never lifting her head to look at Peridot.

* * *

Mechanical engineering was most certainly going to be her major when she left for college. She was positive. It was one the few things she and her mother agreed on, despite Peridot only being a sophomore. That meant she had to study her ass off whenever she could―Empire State University was not the easiest college to be accepted into. Lunch was a just begging to be set aside for study sessions. She could just eat in her next class.

She mumbled to herself, chewing on her pen as she flipped the page. A metallic taste burst onto her tongue, making her gag and drop her pen. She may have bitten too hard― _damnit_. “Oh, god. Ew. No, nygh why.”

Peridot slammed her book, holding the collar of her green hoodie up to her mouth to wipe at her tongue and try to clean off the ink on her lips. Rushing out of the library and towards the nearest bathroom, she heard the bell ring. _Shit, she was gonna be late_ . Health comes first, and she would be damned if she died from a _fucking pen_ (that probably wasn’t even toxic, but still).

But the door wouldn’t budge. Someone had locked the bathroom from the inside.

“Ugh, you’ve got to be kidding me,” she huffed, “I am _not_ going to the other side of this damn school.”

Maybe someone had set another trash fire. Yeah, that was fairly likely, and the ashy smell would stick for days―a freshman had even been sent to the hospital last year from an asthma attack (which may or may not have been her).

However, Peridot would have likely heard the news of teachers throwing buckets of water into the girls bathroom already. Amethyst always kept her up to date. She knocked― _more like banged_ ―on the door, her voice muffled and quiet from her hoodie, “Hello? Anyone in there?”

No response.

One of the sinks turned on, outrageously high water pressure allowing Peridot to hear it loud and clear even from the otherside of the door. Oh, god. What if the door was just jammed or something and she had been pounding on the door for no reason―she probably scared them.

She knocked again a few moments later, “Oh, sorry, I―”

The door swung open, cutting her off.

Her eyes darted up, meeting cold, bloodshot eyes with heavy bags underneath.

“Hey,” Lapis said dryly. Her eyes burned through Peridot, despite the fact that she looked dead. Peridot barely reaching Lapis’ chin in height didn’t help calm her rapidly beating heart. She narrowed her eyes at the fabric stuffed into Peridot’s mouth.

“H―hello, Lazuli. You, err, doing alright?”

She breathe in through her nose, “Yes.”

And she walked away with quick strides, her shoulder brushing against Peridot’s harshley in the doorway. She noticed bandages peeking out through her gloves.

Peridot also noticed the heaps of paper towels stomped into the trash can and that the room reeked of Febreze. And a faded, barely visible smear of blood on the white rim of the sink.

* * *

 

Lapis usually looked dead inside, but somehow this was different. She didn’t even seem to have _anything_ left inside―dead or alive. She just held her head in her palms and stared at nothing from the row behind Peridot.

“Hey.”

Peridot’s head snapped around to face the teacher at the front of the class. _Great job_ ― _caught staring_ _again_. _Just don't look back, don't look back._ The teacher paid no mind to the little chit-chat― _yeah right, like it could even be called that_ ―and instead told the class they had five minutes to get up and stretch.

Peridot liked Ms. Bleu, she was soft spoken and kinda a stressed mess, but still had mercy on her class―which was frankly filled with assholes.

“ _Hey_.” Someone tapped on her shoulder

The blonde jumped, twisting awkwardly in her seat to face whoever it was behind her. _Lapis_.

“You left this in math yesterday. Figured you’d probably need it back for some of your nerd shit,” she said, holding out a red notebook. She was also wearing an oversized sports jacket for the school’s football team. Winters in Empire City were cold, but it was only November.

Peridot smiled, taking the notebook from her hands, “Wow, thanks.”

“No problem.” Lapis slipped her hands into the jacket’s pockets, tilting her head up and lazily letting her eyes drift across the room. “You, uh―what did you see yesterday?”

Her heart skipped a beat, “Not―not much. Just, uh, thought some clod had set another fire. Guess that old door gets jammed a lot. Eh, Lazuli?”

“It’s Lapis.”

“O―okay.”

Lapis nodded slowly, and her shoulders tensed up slightly. Peridot definitely noticed how exhausted she looked; her short bob more messy than usual, the dark bags underneath her eyes―how she seemed to sway when standing up.

“Do you think you can tutour me again?”

Oh, that―that was not expected. But not _exactly_ unwanted, either―she did have a reputation to uphold and Lapis actually seemed _willing_ to learn this time.

“I suppose I could. Where would you like to hold the session?”

“How about your place, Friday night?”

“M―my place? Like, my house?”

“Sure, why not?”

“I just, just didn’t think you’d want to, you know. Uh. Spend time with me. Alone. I wasn’t exactly given the impression that you enjoyed my company. I mean, Mrs. Yella pretty much forced you to let me tutour you.” Peridot fiddled with her pencil.

“Well, we’d still be alone, even if you tutoured me here.” she winked, “This dump is too grey to have any fun―at your house, _however_ …”

“I mean, yes, that is―that’s correct. However―”

“Will you tutour me or not?” Lapis snapped, brow furrowed in what might’ve been frustration.

“Yes! I will.”

She let out a breath the blonde hadn’t noticed she was holding, “Good. I’ll meet you by the pool after school on Friday then. Just bring your dorky self and whatever.”

“Yeah, sure…” Peridot watched as Lapis spun swiftly on her heels and walked back to her own desk.

Class just went on as usual, with Mrs. Bleu going on about how bees shouldn’t technically be able to fly. And the occasional kid who would shout out Bee Movie memes.

* * *

 

Peridot wasn’t a huge fan of swimming. Or sports in general. But watching Lapis fly gracefully through the water, the muscles in her shoulders and back flexing―she was definitely a fan of that. And maybe she was staring too blatantly.

“Peridot! You came!”

Lapis smiled widely, stopping mid lap, and wading through the water to lean against the edge of the pool with her arms crossed in front of her. Peridot’s ears burned.

“You seem awfully happy about that,” she said, her voice cracking when Lapis climbed out of the water and wrung out her hair before grabbing a towel from a nearby bench. Peridot noticed her swimsuit was different―while the others had one-pieces of mostly solid colours, Lapis’ was almost like a tank top. It was tight-fitting and black, with blue and white wings stretching out from her shoulder blades, and just a grey pair of shorts that reached halfway down her thighs.

She still wore the gloves.

“I just wanna get outta this place,” she flashed a grin, but something in her eyes hardened.

“But… Well, why me? Though―like I’m not exactly the most well-liked or popular person here. You could have asked any other honor student and I’m sure they would have been eager to help.” She shifted on her feet, eyes cast downwards and finally not staring.

Lapis snorted, “Welcome to the club, buddy.” She crossed her arms, towel draped around her shoulders, “And I’m not as popular as you think I am. A lot of people just know about me and my shitfest of a life.”

“Because of Jasper?”

Lapis’ body tensed, nails digging into the skin of her upper arms, “Don’t fucking talk about her right now.”

Peridot flinched, taking a step back, “I―I’m sorry. You two are―well, you are dating, right? Like, like that’s a thing, uh. You’re―um,” she made an awkward gesture with her fists, “You know...”

There was a thick atmosphere, cold yet burning at the same time. She let out a shaky breath, watching as Lapis started to move again. She walked over to the lockers and grabbed her clothes. The door to the showers were just a few feet away.

She glanced back at Peridot, expression neutral, “I’ll only be a minute.”

“Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> First Fanfic so suggestions and constructive criticism is very welcomed. Lemme know if Peri's character seems inconsistent. And pacing is a bitch. And I had to change cahp 1 AGAIN cause I wanted more built up angst.Tanks. Have gay.


End file.
